Thursday, March 26, 2009

A little pissed off at Odin

So I kinda realized how lame everything is. I was talking to someone, and pretty much they are looking for a job. In this economy, that could be a problem except that person is looking for a job to feel like an adult because that persons parents are paying for everything at this moment. Now, I have come from the bottom up working in restaurants and such until I got my job at the Labs, and the whole time supporting myself through it. The only reason I am going to College is cause I worked my ass off for a scholastic scholarship to pay for school.

You might be thinking, "Oh Randy, why are you criticizing these trustafarians?" I am not, I am pissed that I don't have wealthy parents to make my life better. I am goddam lazy. I need to get paid! For Free! I wish I could stay at home all day and not worry about money. I blame Odin. That one eyed bastard should have given me rich parents. I would also have better recordings if I had wealthy parents. I am seriously pissed. Fuck you Auoun, you raven friended fuck. You Piss Me Off!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Randy: on Serial Killers

I personally attribute the declining fear of serial killers to the internet. People are not afraid to walk the streets at night because of the internet. Why? You might ask. It’s simple. I mean, take a look at this guy:

Everyone watches his videos on YouTube everyday. It is blokes like this that make us comfortable with serial killers. Just Saying.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Magic. Is. Awesome

I was thinking today about some important issues. These issues have plagued minds for centuries, have become mysteries of the universe, and have boggled the minds of scholars to the extent of madness. All of these issues have one thing in common: Magic.

Yes I said it, Magic. Without magic, the first babies laugh would not have broken up into little pieces to create the first Fairies. Without Magic, King Arthur could never had the opportunity to pull a frickin sword out of a stone. Without Magic, we would not have Nintendo. Now, the important issues I am speaking about are as follows: the Bermuda triangle, Knights that currently exist in England, and the Chupacabra.

The Bermuda Triangle: has to be Magic. Yeah people say some kind of bubbles exploding out of the ocean has capsized the boats and sent planes plummeting, or that maps were off back in the day. Simple Solution is, however, that the great Witch Doctor, Egoísta Feo, of what we now call Cuba, what was then known as Caimán Molestado, placed a curse in that area due to the white man coming in from that side of the Atlantic ocean. It worked. Sadly enough, Europeans found other ways around it, but it is still a dangerous area to go. Unless you’re Cuban or something.

There are still Knights that live in this day and age. Many are what we believe to be “actors” and “musicians”. That is just their cover. What they really do is battle England’s magical adversaries. They have to be knighted so that they can fight these adversaries, but need a cover to explain why they were knighted. If they didn’t have a cover, a bunch of blokes would be asking questions. Well, I will not cease to ask Questions. I know what you do after hours, Sir Elton John, and it’s not cross-dressing.

The Chupacabra has been a mystery to anyone south of the border, and even to us New Mexicans. That is because of Magic. Have you seen that video on you tube of that dog running all kinds of crazy with a long snout? Chupacabra, a transdimensional being that can roam through worlds because it was made with Magic by other transdimensional beings. The first documented American sighting was in 1902 when Billy the Kid was passing through the Pecos valley and was ambushed by some Law men. These Law men almost had Billy and his cohorts caught when all of a sudden there was this “dog” that attacked the law men and overpowered them. It was ferocious. When the Law men were all killed by the dog and Billy the Kid’s gang, the dog looked at them and disappeared in front of their very eyes. When Billy the Kid reached the next village, which happened to be in the out skirts of Taos, the people knew what Billy was talking about right away: The Chupacabra.

So, because of such things, I believe in Magic. If you do not, I suggest to you that you do, because without Magic we wouldn’t have Microwaves.